My Last Summer

The realization that this is going to be my last summer felt like Robitussin to me. Wierd. I know, but work with me for a second. You know that you're going to have to take the medicine eventually. But you havent taken it just yet so there's still a smile on your face. You don't want to stay sick forever, you want to keep moving on with your normal, day-to-day activities. So you take the medicine. Yep, you were right. This taste is not pleasant in the slightest. I bet that wasn't comforting at all. But you swallow it anyways and the Robitussin leaves a sour aftertaste in your mouth. As soon as the initial shock of that taste fades, there's a note of optimism because you know you're on the road to getting better, to moving on past this temporal stage.

With this being my last summer I wanted to do something else other than work for some summer cash. As much as I love my family and friends at home, I wanted to go someplace for mission work. There was this internal conflict between comfort and discomfort. I prize comfort so much. I have everything I need, why leave it all? It's a spoiled mentality that I've been trying to get out of, but it's a process. As Christians, I don't think we're called to be comfortable. We're supposed to be uncomfortable. If we're comfortable then something is not right. There have been opportunities to leave and go do mission work but it was this same mentality of total avoidance of discomfort that I was still holding onto that prevented me from leaving.

My good friend, Lee Thomas, and I came to the Coffee Mill and ran into her old bible study leader, Paige. We got entangled in this long conversation about the very thing that I've been trying to let go of--comfort. Security. Stability. Safety. Have y0u ever been at a place at just the right time and heard exactly what you needed to hear? Take a step in my shoes and that's what happened to me. Hearing the Lord speak through Paige was just the affirmation I needed.

So this summer I am going to Haiti for a couple of weeks. It's going to be tough, expensive, but nonetheless eye-opening. Am I scared? Yep. Am I excited? Beyond belief. How do I feel about my last summer spent in a place that has just encountered so much destruction and hurt? Wouldn't have it any other way. Bring on the uncomfortable.

Surrounding Symphony

I'm sitting on a wooden chair the color of blueberries. My feet are propped up on the neighboring chair as I sit and listen to the couple to my left talk about their opinion on the new movie Valentine's Day. Behind them is a girl reading a Bible while her feet dangle due to the elevation of the barstool. Immediately beside me is my friend Jess. All I can see is her eyes dart from left to right and all I can hear is the sound of her coffee mug hit the wheat colored table everytime she takes a sip. Diagonally behind me to my right is another girl skypeing with someone who seems to be either her sister or her best friend. I've seen her many times before. She's what people would call a "regular". The baristas know her usual order. Even I know: a medium dirty chai. Every 7 or so minutes, my thought process is disrupted by the noise of a blender that sounds like the whirring of a vaccuum cleaner. I think about putting my earphones in and listening to the sounds that Pandora chooses for me. But who needs music when I have a soundtrack surrounding me? The sounds of a page flipping to the next, the laughter of the couple to my left, the rapid talk of the girl on skype, the ceramic cup hitting the table every 2 mins. Even the volcanic sounds of the blender. It all goes together; a definitive factor of where I am sitting. If I were anywhere else, this would all be noise, not music.

I look towards the rocking chair with a winter starlight blue cushion that invites me closer. I succumb to the invitation and my body agrees much more to the comfort of this. I look out of the window beside me and watch as the snow makes magic of the sky; falling as if someone is gently grinding the flakes between their hands and sprinkling it lightly to illuminate the stone gray sidewalk. To follow one, single snowflake is difficult to do. Your eyes switch from flake to flake and then to the occasional person walking past. A woman has just walked past holding her child's hand as he skips to keep up. Her face is down to block the snow but the child's face is up to invite it.

My eyes eventually divert from the spectacle outside to the numbers at the bottom right of my computer screen. 5 o'clock is almost here so it is just about time to go.

Goodbye Coffee Mill. I'll be back tomorrow before you close your doors on Monday.

An Off Morning

Today I had one of the most off mornings I've had in awhile.
It's actually quite funny looking back at it.

I usually like to go up to campus earlier in the morning to buy a four dollar beverage from Starbucks (I know, I buy it more out of habit than actual desire). Then I usually proceed to sit on the couches outside of Starbucks and whip out my itouch while pretending that it's an iphone <---it's entertaining, you should try it sometime.

This morning I'm walking over to Starbucks and I remember my test grade for Biology is online. My usual route to Starbucks had a slight detour to a computer to check out my grade.

Background story.
Biology is the death of me. I've never been good at it. Never. For the love, I'm an english major! I was perfectly content learning all of my science facts from the Magic School Bus. I have no desire to further my scientific knowledge. This hindered my learning capacity while trying to study. Ask Laura Herald. She helped me study but it wasn't an easy task. It took me an hour to grasp the fact that animal cells consist of membraneous organelles.

I get online to check out my grade. Lets just say I could have done better...alot better. With my mood a little dampered and my pouting pretty apparent, I then make my way to Starbucks, order my cup of coffee, take a sip of it and make my way to the couches. I then spill my drink all over me. Great.

After spending a couple of minutes cleaning up, Sheila, the usual cashier in the morning at Starbucks, offers me a new cup. Sweet! Finally, I get to the couches and habitually pull out my itouch. After about 5 mins it was about time for me to head to class. I get up without realizing that my itouch was in my lap and not my hand. MY itouch crashes to the floor and the protective case split away from it as heads turn my way. I bend down to pick up my itouch and coffee spills all over it. Great again. At least it missed me this time.

I finally get out of Starbucks and start walking to class. For the entirety of the next hour I kept smelling burgers. Wierd, I know. I smelled it on campus and all the way into my classroom. I was a little self conscious because I thought it might have been me. Burgers. Of all things, why burgers?

Was it an "off" start to the morning? Yep. But today was honestly one of the coolest days. From sweet coffee shop convos to painting on canvases with Clark for a couple hours, it was a great day. Sometimes we need to just laugh at ourselves a little, and that's exactly what I have been doing all day when I think back to the series of unfortunate events and odd smells that took place this morning.

"If you can't laugh at yourself, life's gonna seem a whole lot longer than you'd like."
-Garden State

Early Riser

I'm an early riser. The latest I've slept in the past year was 10:30 in the morning-and that was because I was heavily induced with sleepytime meds, oh the joys of Nyquil. This past school year, my body has been waking me up at around the same time no matter what time I went to bed the night before. Sometimes I hate it, but for the most part I love it. I personally think that the morning is the best part of the day. Granted, I do get a little lonely in the morning because all of my roomates like to take advantage of the times they can sleep in, which is totally understandable. The reactions to being woken up by an alarm clock differ between all of them...

Jonathan.
He is definitely the most sociable in the morning (besides me). He is the one roomate I can wake up in the morning without him getting upset. He does this thing where he rubs his stomach and his left eye while trying to get reoriented to being awake.

Matt.
Matt doesn't like to talk in the morning. He knows what he needs to do to get ready and he does it. After his morning shower, his daily routine consists of washing out his coffee mug and then going to the dryer and taking his clothes out of it. For some reason, Matt does his laundry everyday becuase I dont think I have seen a morning where he doesn't visit the washing machine. I never understood why, but I have just come to accept it. Matt doesn't dilly dally, yet somehow he is always catching the bus just in the knick of time.

Stephen.
His alarm usually goes off around 8:30. However, Stephen does not wake up until around 10:30. Stephen has an adept skill at mentally muting his alarm. Who needs a snooze button when you can do that? The song replays over and over and a morning just doesn't feel right if I dont hear it. The song is Mason's Revenge by Senses Fail if you want to look it up and get a glimpse of my soundtrack in the morning.

Jesse.
Last, but definitely not least. Jesse Bowden. To say in the least, Jesse doesn't function in the morning. He wakes up, sure. But he mentally does not check in until after his morning shower. He tends to be a little grumpy as well. Here is an example:

Me: Morning Jesse (followed by a hug from me and Jonathan)

Jesse: Don't touch me. (remains standing still and retains a nuetral expression on his face while avoiding eye contact)

Me:.......

See what I mean? But it's more entertaining if anything.

Sometimes mornings can be the best way to really get to know a person!

Brothers

I'm so blessed. Let me just get out there and say it. Shoot, I'll say it again. I'm so incredibly blessed.

As most of you know, I have two brothers- Neal and Sly. Neal is 18 and starting anew at James Madison University. When you see or talk to him wish him congrats because he just got a AV technician job over the summer for World Changers missions board! Sly is 24 and works fulltime for a company that cares for brain injury survivors. Alongside that he works with the different worship ministries at our home church, Grace Baptist. Truth is-I couldn't be any prouder of them! And I couldn't be any more blessed to have them as my brothers. It's so awesome to see the different directions that we are all going in but still knowing that our relationship remains constant. I can't tell you how much advice Sly has given me through the years. Girls, fashion, music, matching socks, and how to make toast. You name it, he's helped me through it. However, Sly did once lie to me and tell me I was a superhero. I believed him. Sly if you're reading this-I'm still a little bitter. Aside from that, he has been called to be a man of Christ and he shows that to both me and my little brother.

I have been given great roomates this year and it has been so gratifying hanging out with them and seeing how they all genuinely care for people. From the plethora of meals Jon makes for people to the long hugs given by Jesse that often prevent breathing (I pretend that I dont like them but I really do), all my roomates have such a unique way of showing love. The recent talks Matt and I have had have been so awesome. It has been such a reward growing with him these past couple of years. Stephen and I have this fun game we play called "Indian in the cupboard"....don't ask but it usually means he loves me. These guys are all so unique from odd fears of mayonaise to sleep talking in German-but that is why I love them all!

Daniel and Zack. It's crazy how alike us three are. Daniel once drove me 4 hours to school and drove 4 hours back just because he wanted to spend extra time with me and Zack is always the person in my life who drops everything he is doing to help not just me, but anyone he cares about. That and he drops sick beats. I look forward to growing up with these two characters.

All of these guys have seen me in my best times and when I've had to fix myself. You've now heard me say it 3 times now but I am so incredibly blessed to have these people as my brothers.